well so much for principals…i boycotted “the beach” when it came out in 2000 because of the filmmakers’ complete destruction of the habitat and livelihoods of the locals.
so…it’s on netflix…and i’m bored…doing my nails…and guess who’s in the movie? tilda swinton. not sure why i’m so surprised by that but i am. also, so far? the movie’s stoopit.
today is the last day of 2010 and it ends not with a yell but with a whisper. or something like that. i can’t remember…(never mind, i looked it up) “not with a bang but with a whimper.” i realize it’s backwards but i’m not feeling that despondent about a quiet year’s end and really, last year’s “bang” left quite enough headaches and tumbled emotions in its wake, thanks very much.
my darling is sick with a bug caught by a little germ monster (isn’t that always the way?) and won’t be coming out to play tonight. i will go steal a kiss at midnight but i might pay for that with my health…maybe i’ll just kiss his forehead.
can you really say you’re sad to see this year come to a close? i can’t. this year has seen the death of a treasured grandparent, the death of cousin that i might have known had he chosen to stay into 2011 and the end of my illusions about where my life is headed. the last is only one i’ll give thanks for and i think it’s still a bit premature at this point. i’ll get back to you. maybe thanksgiving 2011? we’ll see.
with all the bad, some good has come and again, this is the way time works. writing things down is a good way for me to remain positive. i have a slant towards sadness that is counter-productive if i let it be.
so with that said, 2011 is the year of positivity.
I know it’s christmas eve, so you might not be surprised to read
that I have a smile on my face
but the frown, the furrow, the sorrow is close by and smirking.
I am all defiance, bolstered by recent victories in love
and by the certainty of my unbreakable, unshakable forward motion.
I am in flight… vulnerable more in air than on land
but I will pay for that weakness with all my hidden pockets and gladly, gladly.